12 Responses to “what can we say today, except…”  

1. 1 Martha Mar 21st, 2005 at 3:49 pm

   But what will ever make someone 26 years old think of doing it?

   Even now, I’m sure 26-year-old women are saying, “that would never happen to me.”

   Mine is all accounted for, and I’ve discussed feeding tubes and so forth with the kids, even the Little Princess, since this story has been unavoidable. The bottom line is, you have to write down your wishes, for your own sake, and for the sake of those who will be shocked and distressed and not needing to make terrible decisions.

   One of my deathbeds this weekend was a 60-year-old woman who had dropped dead at the mailbox, only to be “revived” by the EMTs. She never recovered brain functions, and the family was preparing to have support withdrawn. In this case, they were all in agreement, something the ICU nurse made clear is not always true. It was sad, deeply sad, but how much sadder to leave her soul prisoner in a body no longer living on its own?

2. 2 Martha Mar 21st, 2005 at 3:50 pm

   I decided not to blog about this, but of course I find myself looking around for places to reply to blogs about it…

3. 3 NotShyChiRev Mar 21st, 2005 at 4:07 pm

   Well, I gave in…and I said a little more.

   Clearly it is on all our minds…I had to get it out of my mind into this ether in order to work on Good Friday and Easter sermons.

   Your advice is certainly more important than my opinion…but what the heck.

4. 4 SpookyRach Mar 21st, 2005 at 4:08 pm

   Been there, done that.

   And I agree with Martha - nobody at age 26 is going to do it. I wouldn’t have done it at age 32 if my husband hadn’t been going through cancer treatment. (Lawyer gave us a 2 fer 1 deal! Ha ha!)

5. 5 reverendmother Mar 21st, 2005 at 4:21 pm

   Good for you, Rach–and I hope hubby’s OK now.

   Trouble is, where I’m planning to go with Maundy Thursday, there’s an opening to at least acknowledge it, but I’m really not sure I want to. In fact I’m sure I don’t, except maybe to acknowledge how important it is to confront the reality of our own deaths.

6. 6 Martha Mar 21st, 2005 at 5:30 pm

   I tried to say something in the introduction to our sharing of joys and concerns yesterday, and I found myself fumbling for words. I know how I feel about *me,* but I am conflicted about this oh-so-public misery and all the parties involved. For about a minute yesterday I thought I agreed with Tom DeLay about something, and I know that can’t be right, can it?

7. 7 anne Mar 21st, 2005 at 5:44 pm

   my husband and i did it a few years ago but we’ve been told that with the new hipa (hippa???) regs we need to go back to our atty and do something different. just thought i’d mention this in case any of the rest of you did this a few years ago.

8. 8 Friday Mom Mar 21st, 2005 at 6:35 pm

   My gf and I did this for each other for our anniversary last year. We also filled out medical power of attorney forms. Working in a hospital for the past few years has made it very clear to me that it is the only way to be sure your wishes are observed and it truly settles a lot of family trouble having it spelled out. No one is too young!

9. 9 PPB Mar 21st, 2005 at 9:13 pm

   ….and it’s not enough just to do it….you have to post these orders EVERYWHERE. (My g’father was revived anyway because those he was with “didn’t know”

10. 10 Jon McCachren Mar 22nd, 2005 at 4:52 pm

    What troubles me more than anything else is the problem of who makes the decision. Can I ever be secure that it will be my wife who has lived with me and cared for me all these years? Or is it some other well meaning family member? Or the local courts? Or our friendly neighborhood federal government?

    I am sick by the hypocrisy of the political grandstanding. Most people clinging to life depend on Medicaid for their medical care. Is this the same Congress who is deeply cutting the Medicaid funding? And what about that child in Texas whose feeding tube was disconnected courtesy of a George Bush right-to-die law? http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/news/politics/11195230.htm

    When there is a political end to be achieved, I’m not sure even a proper Living Will is enough.

11. 11 anne Mar 23rd, 2005 at 8:11 pm

    i’ve talked w/ some younger-than-30’s about completing a living will and d-p-a this week (since terry was only 26 when she had her heart attack). they’ve responded that that’s something they’ll worry about when they’re much older. any ideas on how to get them to really think about this issue?

12. 12 reverendmother Mar 23rd, 2005 at 8:17 pm

    If the current situation isn’t enough to scare them into it, I don’t think anything will.

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