And what an innovative title.
All in all, it was a wonderful vacation. R and I had a great time in Chicago, and C had lots of fun at Camp G-mommy. Our trip was definitely low on the lie-around factor, but that was by design. I think we both were probably weary enough to have had a ball just sitting on a beach for five days, but given that our life together has been All Work and Kid of late, we made a choice to actually experience some things together, to build some memories as a twosome. We got plenty of R&R, however, because we were extremely lazy most mornings. Also, there was actually something very relaxing about being able to do whatever we wanted without worrying about toddler mealtimes, naptimes, diaper changes, locomotion (which stroller should we bring? or maybe no stroller? etc.), or anything else related to the Beloved Short One. Bliss.
So we walked, visited museums, ate grown-up food, stumbled upon a symphony rehearsal at Millenium Park, sat in the hotel hot tub, took a boat tour, saw Batman Begins, and took very few pictures, which usually means we’re too busy having a good time to remember the camera.
Meanwhile, C went to VBS in the morning (and played in the nursery with G-mommy and the other kids), then swam every afternoon. She also went to an outdoor band concert/ice cream social, a carillon concert (the big bells were a hit), she got to peek inside a fire engine (this is a BIG DEAL for her), and other stuff I can’t even remember. Down side—the move back to Eastern Daylight Time has been a little rough. Yes, she slept until 9:18 this morning (!!!!), but I just heard her whining on the monitor, and that would be 45 minutes after I put her down, which was already 30 minutes later than her normal bedtime.
One of these days I’ll blog more about the conference, which was a wonderful amazing invigorating experience for me. I loved the group of women to which I was assigned as discussion leader. They made my job easy.
R and I also began the “what happens next” discussion that will continue over the next couple years. We’re both quite content where we are right now, and we don’t need to know with certainty what the next stage in our lives/careers is, except that if we are committed to staying in this area, R will be inclined to do X, Y, and Z (he owns his own business), but if the plan is for me to get The Degree, or if we just decide that this is not where we feel called to raise our family long-term, his next few steps will probably look quite different.
So, off the top of my head… regarding staying in the area:
Major plusses:
The PhD or not list would look a bit heavy on the minus side at this point—
Second, remember that episode of Friends when Ross is trying to decide between Julie and Rachel, and he makes a pro/con list, and ends up choosing Rachel even though her con list is longer? Julie’s con list included only one item: “She’s not Rachel.” (Actually it was “Rachem” due to a typo, but whatever.) If it’s yours to do, the rational lists take a back seat. (The issues on the list don’t disappear, they just get reconfigured in the mix.)
The issue, of course, is to figure out what’s really mine to do. I think it was Bonhoeffer who said that more often than not, we find ourselves having to decide not between bad and good, but between good and good. I look down the road, and there’s joy in most scenarios I can imagine.
Discerning a call in my denomination is a communal process. It’s not just a me ‘n’ Jesus thang. The community walks alongside, affirms, and asks questions, both in ad hoc ways and officially, through the Committee on Preparation for Ministry. Maybe you, gentle readers, can be my Committee on Preparation for…?
15 Responses to “i’m back”
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Asides
» I have been remiss in posting SBJ’s latest stats: 23 pounds and 27 inches at six months. Yes, I’ve got the big mama biceps.
» Aaaaaand little she-who-is lost another tooth this week!
» SBJ is four months old, 19 pounds 5 ounces, and 26 inches tall. GIGANTOR!
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once upon a time we were trying to decide between two possible summer vacations: california and cape cod were the two choices we came down to i think. we have 3 kids and decided we wanted to maximize happiness on this trip so we sought input all around. some hated one idea and loved the other… and some were the exact opposite. there was no middle ground given these two choices, so we went to colorado instead.
what choices have you not even dared to consider yet? what part of your work/life energizes you? what part drains you? how do these 2 lists fit in w/ the “to phD or not to phD. that is the question” thing?
when bob and i were deciding among a variety of homes for this recent move, at one point we just decided to up the ante and throw a bit more $$$ at the question and we found a dream home. what is your dream, rm? what would you have to throw a bit more of to reach that dream? and what would that cost in terms of time, $$$, family commitments, friends, knitting, etc?
it’ll be fun to sit on the sidelines cheering you on as you decide.
I so admire the way and R support each other!
What happened to the “edit comments,” Kenny?
What I meant to say was “I so admire the way you and R support each other!”
As I’m engaged in the same process, I will be happy to be part of yours, too. Perhaps we can learn from each other?
The one firm impression I have is that PhD work, especially in a subject where you are personally invested, is an exercise in self-discovery and self-management more than an exercise in the acquisition of knowledge/skills.
I have nothing to add to this other than a more than sneaking suspicion that C might have been vacationing in my home town….the carillon concert is a tip off. How wierd would that be?
PPB… let me see if I can come up with a few google-proof hints.. is the carillon in a park named after a famous president? Is this town the home of a large manufacturer of coffee machines? Do you remember when the one of the two tallest buildings downtown was called the “Forum 30″? Or when Fiat-Allis was a major employer? Ever had a beer at “Drink’in Fest”?
-R
R, in answer to your question—yes to all of those—you’ve identified the scene of parent’s honeymoon (yes, they were THAT poor) and the scene of subsequent family vacations a plenty, but no the scene of my hometown!
Welcome back. Sounds like a great time for you guys. Glad the two of you could sneak off for some memory-making time.
I’m all for the blogger discernment thing. Sure has helped me.
I’m thinking. I’m thinking.
I’d be pleased to be a part of your discernment community.
Proving once again that there’s a “Friends” episode for every situation!
Hmmm.
Chicago huh?
Funny, I had no idea.
Hmmmm.
Seriously, your discernment piece is very reassuring…and certainly gives me perspective, for as I walk a related (but certainly not identical) path, I marvel at how much more you have to take into account and the incredible complexity that comes from having a family and being in ministry…Blessings on the journey.
Welcome back home; glad the vacation was lovely.
Ah yes, discernment. I think you’re quite right (or Bonhoeffer is quite right) that discernment is usually between several good things, not between good and bad things. Your Ph.D. or not lists look good–I think you’re asking good questions; I don’t know what the answers will be (yeah, I’m a lot of help, aren’t I?), but I’ll be glad to hang around while you work your way toward the answers.
Thanks, What Now (and all). It will great to have you along, with your experience.
It almost seems that the question is not will I get a Phd, but WHEN will I get a Phd?