Sun-shaft on the floor:
“Can I splash in the puddle?”
We nod, and she jumps.

That happened this morning.

Incidentally…
I’ve been writing stuff down since I could write stuff down. And I always enjoyed learning about and writing haiku, even in elementary school.

Does anyone else remember the cinquain? It seems kind of the black sheep of poetic forms. I remember learning haiku as a child and thinking, “This is a beautiful form, ancient and simple,” and learning cinquain with its 2-4-6-8-2 syllabic scheme and having little patience for it. I recall having a clear sense that nobody really writes this way except at a desk, in a classroom, printing on tablets with upper and lower guide-lines and a dashed line through the middle.


8 Responses to “mom-ku”  

  1. 1 Songbird

    Writing poetry on those tablets is good for those of us who also need to learn scales instead of just sitting down to improv at the piano.

    I like your mom-ku.

    If I wrote one today, it would be more like this:

    Today show bomb news

    Nosebleed son comes rushing in

    day turned upside down

  2. 2 NotShyChiRev

    I love Carl Sandburg, but not his Cinquains, hence the following:

    Cinquain:

    Sandburg

  3. 3 NotShyChiRev

    And my Rev-Ku for the day would be…

    Low, gentle roaring,

    The window unit struggles,

    sweat stifles sermon.

  4. 4 CGAuntie

    Sadly, my teacher colleagues think cinquain is just dandy. With any of the formula poems, you don’t really have to teach writing - just tell ‘em what to plug in and where and you have instant poetry.

    Oh, and C should *definitely* be with the young threes. Heck, she probably already knows more than they do !

  5. 5 Jonah

    We studied cinquain in a “Creative Writing” unit in high school. Did not leave the same positive feelings as Haiku or Tanka (add two more lines of 7 syllables each).

    Similar is the Octologue (3/5/3/3/5/3/3/3), which is supposed to be a sort of brief Dramatic Monologue.

    I’ve also enjoyed Jack Kerouac’s “American Haiku”, which aims for the same succinctness and focus on image, but does not worry as much about syllable count.

  6. 6 Matthew

    Cinquain

    #1

    sun beams

    shine through the glass

    makes dust dance like fairies

    laughing and floating up into

    my fan

    #2

    black hands

    on a white face

    endless sorrowful dance

    conflict and pain, no joy until

    five’s struck

    #3

    His trunk,

    full of hard shit.

    American nightmare

    on the job, with his “attorney”

    blows minds.

    Octologue

    #1

    sunshine dream

    waves of light pour out

    jump up and

    soak in the

    rebirth of Phoenix.

    cindered souls

    open and

    spring forth life.

    #2

    Sallyann,

    bane of my work life.

    Always gripes

    makes work suck.

    Old fuddy-duddy.

    Old as time

    bleeds the sand

    of Pharaohs.

    #3

    When all fails

    and life seems too hard

    do not quit

    do not stop

    keep on, keeping on

    take your bat

    drive it home

    win the game

  7. 7 Matthew

    That was kinda fun.

  8. 8 anne

    even your prose is poetry:

    no one ever writes this way

    except at a desk,

    in a classroom,

    printing on tablets

    with upper and lower guidelines

    and a dashed line

    through the middle.

    or perhaps

    with upper—

    and a dashed line through the middle- - -

    and lower guidelines.—

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