So how is the PhD discernment going, rm?
Pretty darn well, thanks for asking, Contrived Writing Device!
So recently I sent e-mails to two women I greatly enjoy and admire—one, a seminary professor who has been a friend and inspiration for a long time; the other, a pastor here in town who’s always brimming with great stories, laughter and insight. (I think she reads this blog, but I’m not just saying that, she really does rock.) Pastor Friend got back to me quickly and we had lunch last week. Afterward I began to visualize what a long career in ministry might look like for me.
Meanwhile, I’d been trying to reach Prof Friend for awhile, to no avail. Left a couple messages, sent a couple of e-mails, but nothing. What’s up with that? Hey, is this some kind of parable about the all-consuming pressure-cooker that is academia (particularly pre-tenure academia)?
Probably not, rm. Don’t draw hasty generalizations from this.
Yeah all right, CWD, but it also seems to me that in the pastorate, people at least pay lip-service to self-care and a well-rounded life. Academia, mmm, seems to be less so. (And I also recently read What Now’s harrowing tales of the assault on academic freedom at her university. Chilling, truly! I hope that all works out ok, WN! Yeesh!)
Anyway, I also had an interesting realization a few weeks ago, coming back from my aunt’s memorial service. I flew into Baltimore, then took the MARC train down to Union Station, where R picked me up for the drive out to Suburb. As I walked out of Union Station I remembered 11 years ago, when I spent a summer in DC on a journalism internship. At the end of that summer, I basically did the reverse—got a ride to Union Station, caught the MARC to Baltimore, and got on a plane bound for home, and the whole time I was thinking, “I just have to live here again someday.”
So now, here I am, “living here again,” or at least in a suburb of “here.” So why would I want to set a course that absolutely requires that I/we leave, which the PhD would? Despite a few inconveniences and unappealing things (traffic, cost of living, distance from family, the type-A capital of the world) I think it’s a great, vibrant place to be. R’s business is growing roots here, we’re working on getting our house more comfortable, it’s a good presbytery, and I can see this being a place where we stay.
You’re also nesting, getting ready to have a baby, so naturally you’re not wanting to uproot everything at the moment. You might change your mind at some point after the baby comes.
Yes, of course, CWD. This isn’t set in stone. Oh, did I mention that there’s a chance that my mother, whose employment contract expires in December, might look for a job in this area? That would add a neat element into all of this decision-making.
The other interesting piece that I’m ruminating on comes from PPB, blog-friend and official career counselor to the RevGals. In an e-mail that came right after the Baltimore-MARC-Union Station-“maybe I should stay here” thing, she wondered whether I was really called to get a PhD—maybe I was called to get an MFA in creative writing instead. It’s the creative stuff you seem to love, she pointed out. Do you really want to be constrained by having to write academic stuff all the time? Also, you may not have to leave the area to do the MFA, and it might open up some interesting career options.
The more I think about it, the more I like it. The challenge is all my night meetings and how I would fit in a bunch of graduate classes and still see my family. Then another blogger shared that there are low-residential programs all over the place—students go twice a year for a week or so (and isn’t it convenient that pastors receive two weeks a year for study leave!). Then they come home and do their writing independently, submitting their work online to the professor and sometimes a cohort group—while continuing to work, be with their families, whatever.
And there are some cool programs—one outside Asheville, NC, which is near Presbyterian Mecca, and there’s even a program that focuses on writing of a spiritual bent—for “Christians and those of other traditions, who not only want to pursue excellence in the craft of writing but also place their work within the larger context of the Judeo-Christian tradition of faith… This program seeks to extend the tradition of Christian writing in which the highest levels of art, an open-eyed exploration of human experience, and a respect for transcendent mystery are all held in a proper balance” (from the website).
Why do you even need to get a degree at all? Can’t you just work on your writing on your own? What is it with you and school?
I don’t know what it is, CWD! I do well in the structured environment of school, assuming it’s the right program, and I’d really enjoy receiving some support and encouragement as I continue to write. I have no illusions about being “discovered,” or of making writing my primary vocation. But I enjoy it and would like to develop it. And I can see my vocation evolving into some pastoring/teaching/writing hybrid in the coming years. Who knows.
So that’s where I am right now.
Interesting. Keep me posted on all that.
Well, considering you’re a voice in my head, that shouldn’t be a problem.
11 Responses to “things that go “phd” in the night”
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Gee, RM. Its late, shouldn’t you go to bed? Tomorrow is a “school day” after all! Ha ha!
PPB does throw an interesting idea into the mix, doesn’t she? I’ll be interested to see what happens…
What Would Dickie Do (WWDD)?
He’d lend serious condiseration to the Asheville programs - that sounds right up your alley, based on the brief description.
(More than) ten years ago, I stumbled out of Union Station - without having seen my future college campus - and just knew instantly. It was a lock, right there. What is it about that place?
(BTW, did anyone see that Six Feet Under where the crazy brother was wearing a “Who Would Jesus Bomb?” t-shirt? Classic.)
A brief clarification, I think (because I realize I wasn’t clear)–the program with the focus on writing with Christian/spiritual themes is in Seattle (although their residencies take place in cool locales around the country, like Santa Fe and some island somewhere).
If that’s the one you’re talking about, Dickie, yeah that sounds tres cool at the moment. Asheville is still cool though by virtue of its being Asheville.
I don’t know what it is about the place. I did forget to mention another drawback–the whole terrorist target thing…
Rach, it was late to bed, early to rise for me today. Bad combo. Especially since I’m going from 8:30 this morning until almost 6 non-stop. Bleh. Tomorrow I’m going to the monastery.
I think that you’re on to something in noting that professional church ministry at least pays lip service to self-care, which is something, sad to say, that academia actually scorns a little.
And PPB’s thought about the MFA is very interesting! And is a good advertisement for the power of group discernment, I think. I’ll be interested to see where this path takes you.
And thanks for your good wishes. Perhaps I have some career discernment of my own to begin!
Starting with something you “know” (to the extent we ever do) seems like the place to start this discernment stuff, doesn’t it?
I read your post this morning. I started to comment and then wondered if my thoughts were colored by my own struggles to get through a PhD program. Here’s what I think now, but take it with a grain of salt, recognizing that I may see things differently when I get on the other side.
What’s striking to me is the way PPB’s suggestion has taken some root with you. It may be that it’s like the seeds cast on the path that sprout, but dry up quickly. But it’s important, I think, to see if that suggestion takes deep roots with you and informs your future plans. If there’s a better way (than a PhD)to accomplish what you want educationally, do it.
What I’m seeing, though again this needs to be seen through my slightly jaded perspective, is that academia is confining in ways I didn’t expect. There are places where the kind of creative expression that is so clearly strong in you is honored and rewarded. Those places are hard to find and may very well be open to you with a MFA rather a PhD, as the kind of place that will honor it will not be married to the idea that one must have a PhD to teach.
Hmm, the low-res MFA sounds great– and I love the idea of pairing it with your religious orientation as well. I love your poetry and judging from all I’ve seen here, I think you would make a wonderful teacher, if you end up teaching writing. Of course, I would love to do an MFA myself, so maybe that colors my viewpoint a bit, but it does sound like an exciting option…
I have also considered the whole PhD thing from time to time. One thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to think of it more during times when pastoral ministry is seeming chaotic and unpredictable in ways that produce strong anxiety for a INFJ like me. That makes me wonder if it isn’t the structure, clear goals, and relative predictability of academic life that are attractive to me. Also, academia is less scary for an introvert than the rough and tumble of parish life. So far, I’ve decided those tugs toward academia are more escapism than call–at least for now.
I’ll throw my $.02 in, dspite my brain being muddled by my own crooked path to seminary. The big question for me would be “What do you want to do with it?” or even better “What are you called to do with it?” “It” being your prodigious gifts, of course.
There is no question that you have gifts as a writer. There is also no question that you have gifts as a pastor, otherwise, you wouldn’t have thrived in this very Type A we-have-the-best-pastors-around part of the country.
The PhD - is it for the sheer joy of digging into high-level study? Is it to pursue a career teaching and researching in a university or seminary setting? Is it to enhance the skills you have as a pastor? I’d risk a shout-down from the others who know more than me that a PhD may not be the best tool for the last of these.
The MFA-is it for learning the craft of writing? Is it to develop a network of contacts so you can publish (frankly, the real reason many writers get that degree)? I’d suggest you are already quite skilled in the craft, but only you can say how you feel about that.
There’s nothing wrong with any of these options or reasons, but they’re all worth chewing on.
Of course, getting to spend some time in beautiful Asheville or Santa Fe or even Seattle is worth doing anything! BTW, there’s a great MFA in writing at UVA…in beautiful Charlottesville, just down the road from us. PH’s ex did it and really thrived there.
Really interesting. Can only comment that I’m back at seminary as an ‘mature adult’ (ROFL) and loving it. But the real fact is that academic writing and creative writing are in conflict … and pull me apart at times.
I feel a little sheepish. I didn’t write this for affirmation but I do appreciate your kind words.