I recently learned of an upcoming workshop at Big Downtown Cathedral, where I have attended many amazing workshops and events.
The workshop is on writing as a pastoral and spiritual practice.
Participants stay on the grounds of the cathedral which gives the week the flavor of a retreat. The group will have about 6 hours a day for individual writing, then 3 or so hours for group sharing and critique.
One of the workshop leaders is the wonderful Nora Gallagher.
The event is underwritten by Religious-Based Foundation such that the cost per participant is $300 for the week.
If ever there were a one-time opportunity to determine whether the low-residency MFA is for me, this is it.
…And the reverendbaby will be three months old.
27 Responses to “there’s always a catch”
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That sounds like an incredible experiencce. Go for it! Will you need a babysitter? ‘Cause Princess Mindy has tons of vacation time available. ha ha!
There’s a way.
No, I don’t know what it is.
Well, when I was at vicar school one of my fellow students gave birth half way through the course, and from then on attended all residentials with the infant Elspeth firmly attached…Why not ask? They can only say no!
when one of our babies was an infant i wanted to take a several day workshop in stonecarving. (i cared deeply about calligraphy back then and this was a workshop on calligraphy and stonecarving.) bob took vacation time and brought the baby to the conference every day during my lunch break so i could nurse him/her. it took great effort but it seemed important at the time so we did it.
also i helped lead an adult retreat a month or so after our second baby was born. the retreat committee helped work it out so i could bring her along on the retreat and folks helped me care for her during the sessions and she slept in my room at night. i’m w/ keith on this one. There IS a way.
Do it!
This sounds like a great opportunity! I’m with Keith — there’s a way to make this work, however, I am not at all sure what it is.
I hope you can do it!
I went on a weekend women’s retreat with breastfeeding #2 Son when he was still pretty young. We made it work. I probably didn’t get the benefit of being “on retreat” that some of the participants did, but I got to be where I wanted to be.
Go for it!
How do the dates fit in with the maternity leave?
I can’t speak from being a mother, but if you think you would regret not being there, then I would see if you could make it happen.
Let me reiterate once again: do it! I began a run for statewide plitical office when StrongOpinions was 6 weeks old. She traveled with my in a Snugli front pack, and I would duck out of meetings to feed her. When she got a bit bigger, I had dome help at home and we coordinated the schedule. It was not easy, but it was also not impossible.
Hello? Where is the voice of reason out in the blogoverse? The consoling “Don’t worry, there will be other opportunities”? Honestly, that’s what I was expecting!
But I admire everyone’s pluck. I myself thought when I first read about it, “Come hell, come high water, I’m doing this,” but I tend to bite off more than I can chew. Or maybe just more than I *should* chew. So I was ready for some reigning in, some sympathy and hairpats: “Maybe next time, dear.”
Songbird, unless the babe is quite early, I plan to come back before Palm Sunday-ish. Early April. This event is the end of March, toward the end of maternity leave.
The options as I see them are:
1. commute from home and bring the babe with me during the day
2. stay at the conference and have the baby with me (this presupposes single rooms or an understanding roommate, and I’m not sure either one is in my control)
3. arrange for a nanny for her at home and make frequent use of the breast pump.
Even if I commuted with her every day, it might still be good to have a room there for naps and downtimes. A nanny/backup person would also help even if she’s with me. All of this assumes that she has the temperament for being carted around like this. I think C would have been OK (remember the week of call process activities when she was 5 weeks?), and she was even sleeping 7 hours a night at that point, but kids are different.
Oh, and I have to actually be accepted. Registration is limited, doncha know. I’m thinking I’ll apply, because what’s the harm in applying? But do I wait to work out the details in the event that I’m accepted? Or let them know up front?
Email me with the details. If it works into my schedule and they take me, too, I’ll room with you and help with the baby. Sleep is over-rated.
I’m for real.
I couldn’t find this on the regular calendar, though, so it must be a secret type of conference.
Never mind. I just found the info (although with no dates involved). I doubt I could make it in, but I think you will. Sorry.
Hogwash, PPB!
RM, I so want you to do this (and then come back and tell us all about it!) Of course, if it isn’t now, the chance may come around again, but I would definitely apply (without worrying about/mentioning the baby issue right off) and then once you are accpted and the revbaby is born, you can go from there. It may work out, it may not, but for now– Go!
hi
you PRAY about this, and you allow God to open the doors.
And I am assuming you have discussed this with hubby
My advice (for what it’s worth) is to have the Rev Baby with you - for nursing etc - both of you will be more relaxed because of it. If there’s the need to go home for a night mid week you can do that
but plan to stay there for most of it.
I’d be upfront about the whole situation now and trust God. If you are supposed to be on this retreat, He will arrange either a private room or a sympathetic roomie.
Sounds ideal as far as maternity leave goes, and 3 month olds are usually at a very easy stage. This is not impossible.
So pray, apply and leave it in His very capable hands.
Well, I’ll be the different voice. Post-partum hit me pretty hard,and it was a challenge for me to get out of the house on some days, so I’d advise cutting yourself some slack and seeing how things are feeling closer to time… As I always tell my congregation (and sometimes I even listen myself), good stewardship of your time sometimes means saying no to something that is good….
I’m with apstraight as the dissenting voice here.
I can imagine how tempting it is to go, especially with Nora Gallagher there. But frankly I can’t imagine taking a baby that young to a workshop like that while still breastfeeding OR leaving her at home and pumping. You would be distracted and you will distract others.There WILL be other, and maybe even better, opportunities come up when reverendbaby is past breastfeeding.
Just two cents worth from one who learned the hard way that she is not Superwoman.
When my youngest child was 5 months old, I took him with me to a week-long conference. I just carried him in a sling and nursed him. It worked out.
You might want to wait and see what type of baby you end up with (sleepy, colicky, active, whatever) before making a decision. Some babies travel better than others.
I’m curious, how is attending a workshop at three months (and pumping or juggling a baby) different from going back to work at three months (and pumping or juggling a baby)? Assuming a commute either way. I ask because I’m going to do the latter no matter what, and I guess I don’t consider myself a superwoman for doing so.
Three years ago I wouldn’t have been able to imagine breastfeeding a five-week-old, then hopping up behind a podium to be examined for ordination on the floor of Cranky Presbytery. Granted, it was not “voluntary.” Anyway, every kid is different, every postpartum is different. Several weeks from now I could either be slapping my forehead at my own craziness in thinking I could pull this off, or I could be kicking myself because I didn’t even give it a try. And forehead-slapping is a lot less painful than self-kicking, especially right after giving birth.
Of course, I could not get in and this would all be utterly moot. Except that the bigger issues are interesting, to me anyway. How much accommodation should nursing mothers expect? And Apstraight’s point is a good one, that so much of life (to quote Bonhoeffer) is choosing between good 1 and good 2.
On that note, I’m off to tackle the pre-maternity-leave to-do list.
It seems to me that applying and seeing how the Spirit moves in that regard would be a useful exercise. How do you feel during the application? If the door is closed, then you don’t have to worry about it, it’s not meant to be right now.
If it opens, then see what next step you’re supposed to take.
I took my son with me to a Synod meeting when he was three months old. I also took my daughter to a Church Redevelopment conference when she was the same age. Frankly, I can’t say either one was a fantastic experience. It sort of worked–but I also missed a lot, catching snatches of presentations while pacing the halls with a cranky baby. Both of these were out of town events, though, and that makes a difference. I didn’t have much back-up except for a friend in the town where the redev. conference took place. She watched my daughter for an evening during which she screamed for three straight hours. My other concern would be with those six hours a day of individual writing. Even with the best tempered of babies this seems like an impossible dream My kids are 6 and 8 and I rarely get to do six straight hours of individual anything. Sorry to be so negative, but I’m going to miss an annual clergy event that’s important to me this winter because it’s just more than the market will bear right now in terms of Mom-absence. I also get a little nuts when I move heaven and earth- in terms of child-care logisitics- to get to a continuing ed event and then run into a man with young children who seem to have just hopped on the plane with no worries.
So, having taken A. with me to GA when he was three months old, as well as the Campus Ministry Summit the days before, I have to admit it was a gift to have a nanny (Auntie CG)with me so I could do the conference. A. was a good temperment to do something like this, and I was grateful to have the time to do both the mother/work thing.
It does seem interesting to me that this conversation is a metaphor for just how your writing/pastoring/mothering will look with a new one in your life. I don’t think there are any wrong answers here, just discernment.
I also agree that you should apply, see how it feels to write the application, then if you get in say, “By the way, I’ve got a little one with me…”
Does dawn on me….how do you think C. will feel you going off with Gertie while she is at home with Daddy? That may be another aspect to consider depending on sibling rivalry is going at that point. Again, it would be something you may need to discern only after Gertie is born, after you get in, and all that…So, how does it feel to get in then see if you can manage to go closer to the date?
I have little practical experience to add to this mix, since my kids were practicallly grown-ups on my Ordination day. (I was mostly a mom-at-home/half-time-employee during the early years.) But I’m sure you will do the right thing for you.
PCIT, that sucks about missing the clergy thing.
I just remembered all the other times I had C with me on extended “work” things… were they positive experiences? Most of the time. But they weren’t what they would have been if she hadn’t been there, that’s for sure. And there’s no use in expecting them to be. The question is (put globally because this is bigger than this situation), is the reality of the experience (not what it “should” be, not what is “supposed” to be) worth the extra time, effort and energy one puts into it?
ChaplainMom, CG Auntie is indeed a great nanny. Hmm… scratching chin, wondering when her Spring Break from teaching is… ha ha!
I just banged out the registration materials so, uh, I’m guessing there’s some energy there. I feel about it like I did when I applied to Suburban Pres.–I’m called to apply, and that’s all I know. (Right on, Emily.)
Lots of good wisdom in these little comment boxes. Thanks. Um, we can talk about someone else now…?
Well, shoot, rm, I was just going to be utterly brilliant on this topic, and now you want to talk about someone else. Hmmph.
Well, let ‘er rip. Far be it from me to stand in the way of brilliance!
CGAuntie was also scratching her chin, wondering when her spring break is…!