Comments on: there’s always a catch

By: CGAuntie

CGAuntie — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:11:00 +0000

CGAuntie was also scratching her chin, wondering when her spring break is…!

By: reverendmother

reverendmother — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 16:00:00 +0000

Well, let ‘er rip. Far be it from me to stand in the way of brilliance!

By: Songbird

Songbird — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 05:17:00 +0000

Well, shoot, rm, I was just going to be utterly brilliant on this topic, and now you want to talk about someone else. Hmmph.

By: reverendmother

reverendmother — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 04:33:00 +0000

PCIT, that sucks about missing the clergy thing.

I just remembered all the other times I had C with me on extended “work” things… were they positive experiences? Most of the time. But they weren’t what they would have been if she hadn’t been there, that’s for sure. And there’s no use in expecting them to be. The question is (put globally because this is bigger than this situation), is the reality of the experience (not what it “should” be, not what is “supposed” to be) worth the extra time, effort and energy one puts into it?

ChaplainMom, CG Auntie is indeed a great nanny. Hmm… scratching chin, wondering when her Spring Break from teaching is… ha ha!

I just banged out the registration materials so, uh, I’m guessing there’s some energy there. I feel about it like I did when I applied to Suburban Pres.–I’m called to apply, and that’s all I know. (Right on, Emily.)

Lots of good wisdom in these little comment boxes. Thanks. Um, we can talk about someone else now…?

By: Cheesehead

Cheesehead — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 03:29:00 +0000

I have little practical experience to add to this mix, since my kids were practicallly grown-ups on my Ordination day. (I was mostly a mom-at-home/half-time-employee during the early years.) But I’m sure you will do the right thing for you.

By: chaplainmom

chaplainmom — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 02:56:00 +0000

So, having taken A. with me to GA when he was three months old, as well as the Campus Ministry Summit the days before, I have to admit it was a gift to have a nanny (Auntie CG)with me so I could do the conference. A. was a good temperment to do something like this, and I was grateful to have the time to do both the mother/work thing.

It does seem interesting to me that this conversation is a metaphor for just how your writing/pastoring/mothering will look with a new one in your life. I don’t think there are any wrong answers here, just discernment.

I also agree that you should apply, see how it feels to write the application, then if you get in say, “By the way, I’ve got a little one with me…”

Does dawn on me….how do you think C. will feel you going off with Gertie while she is at home with Daddy? That may be another aspect to consider depending on sibling rivalry is going at that point. Again, it would be something you may need to discern only after Gertie is born, after you get in, and all that…So, how does it feel to get in then see if you can manage to go closer to the date?

By: purechristianithink

purechristianithink — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 02:29:00 +0000

I took my son with me to a Synod meeting when he was three months old. I also took my daughter to a Church Redevelopment conference when she was the same age. Frankly, I can’t say either one was a fantastic experience. It sort of worked–but I also missed a lot, catching snatches of presentations while pacing the halls with a cranky baby. Both of these were out of town events, though, and that makes a difference. I didn’t have much back-up except for a friend in the town where the redev. conference took place. She watched my daughter for an evening during which she screamed for three straight hours. My other concern would be with those six hours a day of individual writing. Even with the best tempered of babies this seems like an impossible dream My kids are 6 and 8 and I rarely get to do six straight hours of individual anything. Sorry to be so negative, but I’m going to miss an annual clergy event that’s important to me this winter because it’s just more than the market will bear right now in terms of Mom-absence. I also get a little nuts when I move heaven and earth- in terms of child-care logisitics- to get to a continuing ed event and then run into a man with young children who seem to have just hopped on the plane with no worries.

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:33:00 +0000

It seems to me that applying and seeing how the Spirit moves in that regard would be a useful exercise. How do you feel during the application? If the door is closed, then you don’t have to worry about it, it’s not meant to be right now.

If it opens, then see what next step you’re supposed to take.

By: reverendmother

reverendmother — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 16:22:00 +0000

I’m curious, how is attending a workshop at three months (and pumping or juggling a baby) different from going back to work at three months (and pumping or juggling a baby)? Assuming a commute either way. I ask because I’m going to do the latter no matter what, and I guess I don’t consider myself a superwoman for doing so.

Three years ago I wouldn’t have been able to imagine breastfeeding a five-week-old, then hopping up behind a podium to be examined for ordination on the floor of Cranky Presbytery. Granted, it was not “voluntary.” Anyway, every kid is different, every postpartum is different. Several weeks from now I could either be slapping my forehead at my own craziness in thinking I could pull this off, or I could be kicking myself because I didn’t even give it a try. And forehead-slapping is a lot less painful than self-kicking, especially right after giving birth.

Of course, I could not get in and this would all be utterly moot. Except that the bigger issues are interesting, to me anyway. How much accommodation should nursing mothers expect? And Apstraight’s point is a good one, that so much of life (to quote Bonhoeffer) is choosing between good 1 and good 2.

On that note, I’m off to tackle the pre-maternity-leave to-do list.

By: jo(e)

jo(e) — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 16:00:00 +0000

When my youngest child was 5 months old, I took him with me to a week-long conference. I just carried him in a sling and nursed him. It worked out.

You might want to wait and see what type of baby you end up with (sleepy, colicky, active, whatever) before making a decision. Some babies travel better than others.