This maternity leave is the first time since high school that I’ve had no job or class to go to. It’s mostly nice, although you should know that life with a newborn can be mind-numbingly dull. It’s long stretches of the mundane punctuated with flashes of “damn you’re a cute kid.”
I’m what, two or three weeks into maternity leave and have already received two communications from senior pastor. The first was an e-mail—miss you, here’s what’s going on. I read but didn’t respond. The second was a handwritten note tucked into some pictures that were taken of me during Advent (great with child) with another churchy update. I honestly don’t know what to do with these. She seems to have the good sense not to get into major controversies or things that would stress me out, but I am just not there at the moment. Come March I’m sure I will want to be inching back into the loop. I got another vague communication from a church member (the one who wanted me to preach while on leave) about a “family outing,” I believe to a committee meeting at a member’s house. (It’s at a member’s house, not the church, so it doesn’t count, right?) My goodness, these three months are the last time in her life that the reverendbaby and her needs won’t have to be juggled with the church, and I am trying to protect that the best I can.
That said, she will be juggled a bit with *my* needs on January 31, when I go for a hydrotherapy massage and pedicure. Can’t wait.
She I had our first adventure in the city today, just the two of us. I went to the breastfeeding center in search of a breastpump, and everything went smoothly. M was a trooper, only fussing on the way home during the stop and go traffic, and let’s face it, she was saying what I was feeling.
I acquired said breastpump along with various and sundry, including a cool swaddling blanket, some fenugreek capsules, a couple of samples of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste for diaper rash, and a sling called, I kid you not, the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder. Dorky name, dowdy design, and an instructional video that is endearingly amateurish. But it seems to work, and we’ll get even better with practice. Baby M slept cradled next to me for a couple of hours this afternoon and my arms didn’t ache from holding her at the end of it. Best of all, I actually worked on the computer two-handed.
I’m still in search of some other things, including good books to read and tunes to listen to while nursing. So far I’ve read:
various books of poetry (Sharon Olds, Alice Walker, Denise Levertov),
Renita Weems’s Listening for God,
Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life by a man with ALS,
a book of travel essays by women called A Woman Alone,
and Gilead.
Any recommendations? I’m actually putting some stuff on hold at the library. I don’t normally read books in a manner conducive to library use (a dozen books in parallel, taking months [or years] to complete each one), but I’m spending so much time in the glider, on the couch, etc., that I may actually finish a book before it goes overdue.
As for tunes, R gave me an Ipod Nano for my birthday which is perfect for nursing. Any recommendations of good downloadable music? As you know, girls with guitars is my favorite genre, but I’m willing to branch out.
I’m also in search of mundane stuff that will help me streamline my life: an even shorter haircut that will make my life easier in the morning; a hair product that can be applied to wet hair without blowdrying, that will get the hair to go where I want it to go without looking too sticky or heavy; and a new pair of glasses that aren’t five years old and that will go with everything and anything. I will probably get new contacts as well, but I have a feeling I’ll be going with glasses more often than not, especially once I go back to work.
One final thing: I really, really do read your blogs. I haven’t been able to comment as much as I’d like, and I read via bloglines so you may not even know I’ve been there… but I do read, with much appreciation.
20 Responses to “this and that–nothing profound”
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Hair Product: I swear by Wax Works (Paul Mitchell). Not too spendy, and just the right texture for us “dignified pixie” gals. A little dab’ll do ya.
Good for you for protecting your time with Baby M! From the way it is sounding, you may have to hire someone to guard your boundaries for you before it’s time for your return.
I don’t get to read for pleasure nearly as much as I would like, and the last book I read was too much of a downer to recommend to you right now. One of my favorite re-read stand-bys is a collection of columns written by Sharon Randall entitled “Bird Baths and Paper Cranes.” Maybe your library has it.
We do miss you in Blogland, but we know that you are doing the most important work on earth right now. Drop by when you can!
Butt paste always makes me laugh.
Yeah. I’m 13.
you don’t have to be 13 to appreciate the humor in butt paste.
“Memoirs of a Geisha” was fascinating reading, for me. i recommend it highly.
i think you might like Dido ( No Angel ) and maybe The Corrs ( In Blue )… those are the album names, there’s really not a cut on either one i don’t like.
reading your blog has brought back so many memories for me. ( i miss the baby days. ) thanks for that.
Hmmm, may I recommend the Literary Mama anthology? Had to ask…
And aside from the attempt to get you to a committee meeting (arrgh!) I would take the other communications as just “we’re thinking of you and want to keep you in the loop as a courtesy” but not “we expect you to act on/think about work issues even while on leave.” Just my two centimos.
you’ve probably read most of my favorite books for staying-at-home-days, but I’ll offer them anyway (sorry I’m bad at author names and also really parentheses happy today):
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
The Last Girls (a recent read, and not bad)
The Mermaid Chair (also by Sue Monk Kidd and really really good)
Pride and Prejudice (always worth a re-read, in my opinion!)
The Princess Bride (my most re-read book)
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (really good)
There’s one more but I can’t remember the title right now…I’ll get back to you.
for the cheesy factor (and for fun women characters): the only romance novels I’ve ever read–the Bridgerton Series (by Julia Quinn). The Duke and I (first in the series) is the best one. and never tell Amy S-M that I haven’t read more romance novels than that.
My mom was always partial to Patricia Cornwell mysteries when she just needed a mental break.
and I agree with Expat Mama RE the notes from the pastor–just keeping you in the community. But stay away from those committee meetings!!!
I just know that I miss you.
Your church member sounds so familiar - good luck!
I recommend Martha Grimes’ Richard Jury mysteries. They are serious mysteries with serious characters and there is a whole on-going subplot of wacko characters that populate each story. I love ‘em.
I relate to the short haircut. My hair got shorter after the birth of each daughter. I always said that I’d be wearing a crewcut if I’d had more children!
Great recs everyone.
Expat, I actually checked the library for that book but they don’t have it! That’s all right though, since it’s something I’d like to own.
Good to hear from you Teri. Do you know who I am? Because we went to seminary together. Thanks for the reminder about Wicked, I’ve really wanted to read that.
kite runner blew me away. i listened to it rather than read it (actually listened to the abridged version twice and the complete version once). the author reads it himself.
just finished my sister’s keeper by jodi picoult for one of my book groups. it’s a deeply moving and engaging novel.
also just re-read the accidental tourist for my other book group. i’d forgotten what a wonderful book it is, though you might still be too young to think it’s so great. all of us in the group decided we enjoyed it more this time than we had when we read it when it first came out.
and i’ve just started a nonfiction book that was given to me for chirstmas, honoring the body: meditations on a christian practice by stephanie paulsell. it rings true.
Actually, I was just thinking that I might know who you are, and a little bit of research (well, more than a little, involving a lot of cross-referencing!) proved that I was correct. And then I went into some kind of trance in which I dreamed about my first semester of seminary and how much you taught me about pulpit presence, confidence, and scripture.
the other book I was planning to recommend–which came to me about ten minutes after my last comment–was Our Lady of the Lost and Found, by Diane Schoemperlen (sp?). It’s all about Mary…contemporary and historical Mary, in a sense. a very good read.
I hope you have a chance to read some grown up books and some children’s books during this “break” from “work”!! My favorite children’s book of the moment (the one I’m reading to my classes after the midyear break) is The Grouchy Ladybug, by Eric Carle. Very cute, good for talking about the clock and animals and manners. And it has good pictures!
Did you like Learning to Fall? I remember I really loved it and it made me cry in pieces (dangerous reading for the post-natal days…).
I’m only 20 pages into it, but am really enjoying WHAT NOT TO EXPECT: Meditations on Spiritual Parenting.
I know what you mean about being bored, btw. Everyone wants to say “wow, it’s so great that you get to be home with the baby” which in the big picture is certainly true but the mundanity of it can really get you down. Glad to hear about the “you” break…
The book I’m recommending lately is BANGKOK 8, but it goes with the recommendations from people who know you like pepper sauce goes with sponge cake.
I recommend Sarah Vowell. She’s funny and brilliant. “The Partly Cloudy Patriot” is my favorite, and “Assassination Vacation” is good, too. And along the same lines, David Sedaris, if you haven’t already discovered him.
As for music, I recently read in the LA Times that Kirsten Hersch (of the seminal Throwing Muses) released an EP with her new band (can’t remember the title) that is available for free download. I haven’t listened to it yet, but it got a great review. You might also check out my favorite radio station, KCRW(.org). Morning Becomes Eclectic is the best darn radio show ever, and they do podcasting.
Oh, and if you haven’t already discovered them, do check out Over the Rhine and The Innocence Mission. The ultimate girls with guitars bands.
David Sedaris. Definitely.
I really enjoyed Jane Austen while breastfeeding. Such peace and such humor!
I had very short hair when my kids were little, especially when there was a baby in the house. My boys refer to it as “the scary hair.” They just don’t understand, do they?
love you
this is great to read. Keep loving those kids and yes ignore all memos from church. Your maternity leave is way too short and your church pastors and friends need to respect that.
I did wonder what you decided about that writing course. I read your poem about the foot washing and C and it’s awesome. It ministered right to my core. Bless you for that dear woman of God.