it was also a wednesday
when the last remnant of him in the whole world arrived.
the rest has ground into gulf-coast clay,
sparkled the surface of a lapping pond,
lilted above a pigtailed girl high on the swings.
i am flesh of his flesh;
to my flesh he returned
wedged on a truck
between parcels of Extreme Elmo
and jolly plump citrus.
like the box-in-a-box-in-a-box trick,
revealing the smallest thing in the universe,
there are careful layers:
stiff tape, an easy slice;
white shroud of a sack;
a bag,
sealed grief-fresh.
tonight the ashes were black and coarse,
scrubbing a cross down to the skull;
but his are dense talc,
sifting, shifting,
falling apart into lightning fissures
in my palm; finally i press them together,
cool pillow on the cheek.
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Asides
» I have been remiss in posting SBJ’s latest stats: 23 pounds and 27 inches at six months. Yes, I’ve got the big mama biceps.
» Aaaaaand little she-who-is lost another tooth this week!
» SBJ is four months old, 19 pounds 5 ounces, and 26 inches tall. GIGANTOR!
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Stunning.
What a gift that you would share this with us.
(o)
No words…
(0)
RM, a gift indeed. Another classmate of ours was imposing ashes last night…at the hour and 5th anniversary of her mother’s death. Ash Wednesday 2005 was my moment, weeks after my mother’s death. Your words touch gently a healing heart.
Thank you for sharing from your own ash story. I remember when we talked about all that was going on at the time of your dad’s death, and it reminds me of how often birth and death - the stuff of which we are made and the stuff we leave behind - come together. Blessings for Lent, and looking forward to more blogs
you know, I was actually going to write about how palm ashes and people ashes aren’t so similar…in color or feel…and then you did.
thanks for this…
This is really beautiful, rm. Thank you.
Not sure how I missed this when it first appeared - I’m so glad to have a chance to read it now.