Lent Disciplines
I have done a variety of things for Lent. Some years I have given up chocolate, other years TV. One year I gave up worry; I got a lot out of that, though I lapsed often.
Other years I take on something additional. This year I will be doing morning pages (three pages of free-flow writing, to clear away the gunk, jump-start the mind, and see what happens), a la Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. My life has felt morning pages-incompatible, but I’m going to give it a try, and if I do it just a few times a week, that’s OK.
I started last week, and have already felt more grounded and simultaneously more connected to the Spirit. Today I had morning duty with M so I did them with her on my lap, scribbling on top of them with a colored pencil. That sounds precious and it was, but it was also distracting as all get out. But I’m just gonna keep doing it as best I can. I will talk more as we go along about what the experience is like.
Parenting Class
RM: C, while you’re in preschool this morning I’ll be taking a class too.
C: What will you be learning?
RM: I will be learning how to be a good mommy.
C: But you already know that!
I kid you not.
It was a good class—the first of seven sessions—though I will miss some Writing Revs meetings as a result. Today we started out by writing down five goals for our children when they reach age 21. Since so much of parenting toddlers and preschoolers seems to be picking one’s battles, it’s helpful to have the end in mind. Puts the everyday challenges in perspective.
My goals for each girl at age 21 are:
1. a spiritual life that is thoughtful and grounded
2. keen knowledge of her own particular gifts, strengths and limitations
3. curiosity and engagement with the world around her
4. a desire to pursue excellence, while knowing her intrinsic worth independent of what she does
5. an ethic of giving back in service to others
I asked R what he would add and he said, “an apartment.”
Writing Opportunity
I think one of my former professors has decided she is my agent. She will get asked to do things and decline and give them my name instead. I’m pretty sure that’s how Mondo Youth Conference happened. Actually, I guess that makes me her understudy.
The current opportunity is to write a series of ten monthly articles for the denominational magazine. The column focuses on biblical texts, but the series topic, and each monthly topic, would be up to me to determine. Past explorations have included tough texts in the Bible, the practices of the Christian faith, and the prophets, and the ten commandments (convenient, with ten issues in a year). And the gig actually pays more than I’ve ever made on writing, though it’s still not much.
I am torn about this. I have done a lot of writing about the Bible. I wrote a lectionary article as an audition for Christian Mainline Magazine and in that process got the sense that it wasn’t the kind of writing I wanted to do. The experience drained me. Yet this would be much less academic, geared toward laypeople. Ten articles is a lot of deadlines. But it could be a good experience. Maybe it would lead to other opportunities, like… what? Doing more of the same? And is more of the same what I want/feel called to do?
I feel more positive about it than I did yesterday. I like the idea of coming up with my own topics. The straight lectionary stuff was really exhausting me. But I’m still not sure.
In her book, Julia Cameron talks about the importance of setting an intent, a dream or goal, and then seeing what the universe offers you to make that happen. Sometimes the right person comes along. A resource drops into your lap. Some previously locked door opens as if by magic. It doesn’t always happen this way. But being open, clear and expectant increases your chances of seeing the opportunities when they appear.
So this could be an example of that.
However, on this first day of Lent, I’m also thinking about the temptation story. In the story, Jesus is tempted to feed himself by turning stones into bread. Nothing wrong with bread, right? Eating: not a bad thing. But turning stones to bread was not his way. It was not what was supposed to happen in that moment. Likewise, this opportunity is a good thing. It just may not be mine to do.
Hmm.
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Asides
» I have been remiss in posting SBJ’s latest stats: 23 pounds and 27 inches at six months. Yes, I’ve got the big mama biceps.
» Aaaaaand little she-who-is lost another tooth this week!
» SBJ is four months old, 19 pounds 5 ounces, and 26 inches tall. GIGANTOR!
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An apartment– wonderful— I’m wondering how Little Listing is going to like her Mom going to college with her…
I can’t say whether or not the writing opportunity is for you or not, but personally and selfishly I would LOVE to see you writing in there. It would be a gift to the denomination.
I can SO hear Mr. RM saying that. Teehee.
And, I love the idea of possibly random but intentional pages first thing in the morning.
Personally, I found writing a column/essay SO much easier than a professional article—even one of the same length. There was something freeing about just saying what I wanted to say that might promote thought or discussion instead of writing something I expected people to “use.” (though admittedly, I didn’t have to write 10 in a year)…I can’t wait to read yours.
I agree with Listing, and also want to add as an incentive that these opportunities you are being given will ‘PIF’ very well and might help chip away at that stained glass ceiling should you decide God is calling you to HoS roles in the future.
Boy, this one is chocked full of good stuff.
First off –
Duh, you are a great mom.
Secondly — all the writing.
Awesome. Your writing revs group would probably be quite patient with you if you had to miss some gatherings. That’s what I think anyway.
An agent is a fine thing whether you are her understudy or not. Sounds like a good opportunity, but check to see if they fall within the goals you made for the daughters. e.g. does this project fit in terms of your own particular gifts, strengths and limitations & is it an excellent pursuit??
Happy (?) lent
Laughed out loud about the apartment.
Your thought process regarding the writing “assignment” is very instructional. Thanks!
NSCR, Mr. RM’s second goal for a 21 year old daughter was “that she not have a kid.” He’s a man of simple goals. Living on her own, not knocked up? Parenting success!
Jan, we talked about democratic parenting today—giving parent-approved choices, within limits, as an alternative to authoritarian or permissive parenting. We are democratic with a side of authoritarian (occasionally, you just gotta do it mommy’s or daddy’s way). We give C choices about most things. It gets tedious but she responds extremely well to them. The problem is that now she’s coming back with, “those are *your* two choices mommy, but here are MY two choices…” And so the arms race of parent/child outsmarting continues.
Which will be good practice for the divine miss m. I’m steeling myself for the toddler equivalent of “the hell with your choices!” right from the get-go.
That R is a smart guy. Listen to him.
Always do!
could you do 10 poems related to the texts followed by discussion-starters on those text?
think of ways to make it work for you that wouldn’t be draining.
Why not write about parenting? It’s what you are living anyways. And it’s why I lurke here so often.
Let’s check back in with Mr. RM when his first born goes off to college at 18, and see quite how much of a hurry he is for that apartment at 21!
Giving up worry for Lent? Now there’s an idea. How does one go about doing such a thing?
As a parent of a 14 year old female, an apartment sounds great!
Love the idea of poems as a discussion starter.
Giving up worry: basically requires extreme mindfulness of one’s thought patterns throughout the day. I lapsed often, but would remember, “I have given up worrying about that,” and would do my best to stop.
I heard a long time ago that worrying is like being in a rocking chair—gives you something to do but you don’t get anywhere.
Yeah, I don’t know about the whole article/column thing either. I’m occasionally asked to write something that I could probably write, and could pester myself into doing, but don’t feel anything for. I’ve gone and done one or two, but the only thing they could turn into, if diligently pursued, is more stuff I don’t feel anything for.
Eh.
So for better or worse, I don’t have that career.
As the mum of a recently turned 20 year old, the appartment just isn’t going to happen for a long long time. Student loan, with implied and inevitable debt to government, yes…Chances of clearing it before she’s 30, minimal…Gift, recognised by her and affirmed by others, writing. Hmmn,- I wonder if there might be a connection here!
Looking at your real list, I’m rather proud of her, I think.
Presume that you took “loved and loving” for granted - it remains a Big Issue that people beyond those who “have to” (ie family) should clearly and intentionally declare their love. Despite a tick beside item 2, an abiding sense of self worth remains an issue for most of the kids her age that I know,- at 20 they still lurch from arrogance to insecurity on a regular basis.
Really good to contemplate all this. Thanks, rm x
Keith, you’ve hit it exactly.
As it happens, I’ve been bubbling with a few ideas for the column. Not a rapid boil, mind you, but a mild simmer. I think if I can come up with topic(s) that I find exciting and energizing, it’s a yes.
Kathryn, love is another great one. Others in the class said good friends and a healthy lifestyle, and those are also great hopes for one’s child.
I loved The Artist’s Way, and I really think it’s Cameron’s best book.
“at 20 they still lurch from arrogance to insecurity on a regular basis”
This stops at some point?