But when people say they are “sbnr” to an adherent of a religion, what are they assuming or implying about the person to whom they are making this statement?

I really don’t think you can accurately generalize an answer to this. It’s exactly like asking “When people say they are religious to someone who isn’t, what are they assuming or implying about the person to whom they are making this statement?”

Unless there’s some sort of history, I assume the answer to be “nothing.” What does someone telling me something about themselves have to do with me?

I come from a family in which there was always plausible deniability for neutral statements used as weapons. Some people in your life can say “Pass the salt” and make it sting for a week. Others can say “Man, your entire value system is entirely fucked up,” and somehow it doesn’t sting, and you know they love you.

So to answer your question better… the person speaking thinks the same of you as they did before the conversation started.

That’s something akin to the problem I have with people who are “spiritual” but not religious. Absolutely, there’s a lot of hypocrisy in churches. There’s also a lot of hypocrisy outside of churches. What Keith says about things “spiritual” people are incapable of… hmmm.

Anyway, Christianity is a faith which values incarnation. Matter matters to us. So, if people think I’m not very “spiritual”… I’d much rather be incarnational.

I think caring whether people having enough food and clothing and shelter is profoundly spiritual. And material.

“Religious” is a funny word. Have you ever heard anyone outside of a faith tradition use it admiringly? I don’t think I have. It is usually neutral at best. Which is a part of all this for me. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not seeking anyone’s admiration, and would say that a rote, unexamined religiosity is not a virtue to be admired. But when people say they are “sbnr” to an adherent of a religion, what are they assuming or implying about the person to whom they are making this statement? That’s the point I’m driving at. I think.

And they do have community and things to learn from outside themselves, even if it’s not one minister and one particular group of people that meets on Sunday (or Saturday or Friday, pick your religion). They have friends and family, and some read lots of really good books and do spiritual practices, each in their own way. I learned to respect and have a heart for people like this when I was temporarily driven out of church and often celebrate their weddings, and when we suffered and struggled to find someone to baptize Katie who recognized that we had an awesome and diverse spiritual community that would be our real support long term even though we were not members of a parish.

If I may ignore that context for a minute…

From within a religion, spirituality, religion, and faith are necessarily pretty much the same thing. You can’t really say “I’m religiously Christian, but spiritually Hindu, and my faith is Islam.” As I see it, when you choose a religion, you’ve chosen to deal with your spirituality and faith within it.

From outside religion, though, each means something different. You can, entirely properly, say “My life has a spiritual component, and I have faith in the existence of God and right action, but I subscribe to no traditional doctrine and so cannot call myself religious.”