It’s not a very blissful time in the reverendhousehold.
Long story, but we found out that M is also prone to nursemaid’s elbow.
M is not sleeping well in the new room. There. I said it. There are various theories, but honestly, we don’t know why. The only thing that gets her to sleep is rocking. Several times a night. Which is no solution.
C is sick with a croupy cough. (M’s sleeping problems can only partially be attributed to that.)
The negotiation of a part-time job description is running into various snags. Meanwhile I had set a goal to have my loose ends tied up by Sunday, November 18, so my maternity leave could start then, if necessary. That leaves two weeks.
Finally, I have a sinking feeling I’m soon going to be hitting the parenting Peter Principle. R keeps saying, You’re 36 weeks pregnant! Give yourself a break! But come on. BB will never be so easy to care for as he is right now.
Sigh.
12 Responses to “these days”
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somehow you’ll manage—making creative decisions on priorities as things move along. you can’t know now what it will be like. and once you figure out what it’s like, then things will change because each child changes and you change and r changes and life changes.
but i do recall that before we had our third child, i totally wanted to have four. after the third was born, i took care of things fairly soon so as to have no option for having a fourth. then i was perpetually behind on things that needed to get done until after they started leaving for college. but somehow they grew to be delightful adults (26,28, and 30 now).
now when i’m behind on things i want or need to do, it’s because of altered priorities not lack of time.
good luck.
also, i think i would not have made it through those busy first years w/ 3 toddlers if it weren’t for my buddies in the babysitting co-op. i haven’t seen discussion here of such a group in your life, so don’t know if you’re “joined at the hip” w/ other moms as i was during those years.
i learned a lot of mothering from them and shared a lot of mothering w/ them. i still recall caring for one neighbor’s child and when i fussed at her for something she came up to me a minute later to tell me it was time for me to give her a hug. (that’s what her mom did a moment or two after fussing w/ her.) out of the mouths of babes . . .
blessings on this season of fullness
My good friend’s daughter also had the nursemaid’s elbow problem. It was a real issue for a couple of years, but then seemed to go away. She now plays basketball on the high school varsity team (very contact intensive) without injury. Hope M, too will outgrow it.
By the way I’ve been meaning to tell you (and this seems like a good time) that I look forward every month to reading your column in what El Jefe calls the “house organ”. It’s by far the best regular feature in the thing and a delight to see your pretty youthful face in its pages.
“Oh, these days…are just like you and me” to quote my favorite singer Dan Fogelberg.
Ouch for M. What will happen next regarding the elbow?
You are and will be a wonderful parent. But Madeleine L’Engle called “these days” (in your 30s with children) the CRAZY YEARS! And they are.
Please remember we are all here for you….having survived the crazy years. And you will survive.
Peace and love,
Kelley
M is sick now too. Which comes as no surprise, I guess…
Thanks, everyone. Probably if we were all getting decent sleep, things would feel more manageable. I can deal reasonably well with kid food issues, illness, toddler defiance, you name it… but the lack of sleep is the thing that I. Cannot. Stand.
R is getting up each night with M because he’s much more patient in the middle of the night than I am. I tend to universalize and fret: “She *cannot* still be doing this in four weeks!!!”
Someday when I’m feeling particularly confessional I will share the story with M’s elbow. It was not my finest parenting moment, though under the circumstances, there wasn’t much that could be done. But anyway, she’s fine now, and I got to laugh with some moms today over some truly funny stories, any of which would disqualify us for Mom of the Year.
C got the same thing several times and doesn’t anymore. They outgrow it around 4. The main thing is no pulling on the arm, pray they don’t jerk their arm away from you when you’re holding their hand, and monkey bars are a no-no.
Oh, and thanks, Grace. It’s still startling when people say, “Oh, I read your article!” It’s a very vulnerable feeling.
In fact, in the midst of feeling generally tired and poopy about things, we had a visitor in worship today who had e-mailed me a couple of weeks ago saying, “I’ve enjoyed your articles; when are you preaching again?”
Turns out he is chair of a PNC (search committee looking for a head of staff) in this area. [Deep breath]
I don’t know why that makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide!
Life with little ones is exhausting as well as exhilarating, and certainly time-consuming. However, you placed a priority in a very busy time to see a special baby, and that was a very good thing. Thanks.
Ah yes, “nursemaid’s elbow”. The daughter of a friend of mine had that when the little girl’s dad — instead of picking her up over the baby gate — swung her over by both wrists, which she loved for her dad to do. Several hours later when she still hadn’t moved her arm they went to the emergency room. They were petrified that they would be hauled in by Child Protective Services for abusing their child. The dad still feels guilty and the girl is now 16.
And um…there was the time my son — Mr. Wild Man — started to run into the street on a very busy road. I grabbed him by the arm and yep, off to the emergency room also for us later that evening. Also the worry over CPS. He now plays high school football and I’ll spare you the list of his injuries (so far, thankfully minor) — but none involves his elbow. I also still feel guilty.
Told to hopefully make you feel a teeny bit better. As for that Mom of the Year award…June Cleaver won that a long time ago. The rest of us are ineligible.
Who needs to be a parent of the year when you are a parent for your lifetime?
Doubts are natural no matter how many children you have, each one is new and unique. Its also so natural to feel overwhealmed due to the closeness of M and BB - you had more time between C and M.
With all that being said and your head and heart understanding all that.. AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Have a scream and let it all out. No one will even look at you funny, your preggers!!
All will be well, you have a great support system, and the One above doesn’t give what we can’t handle.
Blessings, patience and love -
Beth
More thanks for the “been there done that” stories.
And FtB, she IS a very special baby!
On the bright side, I now know not to pull them up one-armed…
prayers for you…