Had a doctor’s appointment this morning. The first time they weighed me something was wonky in the scale such that it said I gained 8 pounds in about 10 days. Um, no. But I loved the trying-not-to-freak look on the nurse’s face as she asked oh-so-casually, “Have you experienced any headaches or swelling?” No, I do not have pregnancy-induced hypertension.

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What does it say about me that I somehow had a balance of $.60 on my account… and wasn’t able to pay it? I had about 37 cents and no bills in my wallet. This is pretty typical.

I am really ready for the cashless society.

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I realized I have not done a lot of blogging about my thoughts on having three kids, or having a boy.

Here is a story that encapsulates what I think parenting three kids is like:

The doc I saw today (a jolly grandfatherly type who called me a “proven heifer” when I was pregnant with M) told me today that he had three kids within 38 months. One warm June evening when they were little he said, “Let’s go get ice cream!” So everyone piled into the car, and only when they got to Baskin-Robbins did they realize that the four-month-old infant was NOT with them.

These things happen, right? Rarely, but they do. But here’s the money quote: “Well, we didn’t want to totally scare the kids, so we went ahead and ordered the ice cream. We did have them eat it in the car as we drove home though.”

Thank goodness and of course, baby was sleeping peacefully in her bassinet.

I don’t know. I don’t do well with chaos unless I can escape from it from time to time, and I do worry about the Parenting Peter Principle, but mostly, I am excited. Very much so. There were four in my family and while I don’t know how my parents did it, it was pretty great. I love having brothers. Mamala was remembering last night that my sister K and I were “little mommies” when my brothers were born. I think C and M will be the same way. The age range is almost exactly the same.

I do feel bad that BB will not have a brother… but not bad enough to go for four. This is it. Really. R has the brochures in hand. (OK, there are no brochures, but it’s gonna happen.)

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We did have this conversation this morning:
little she-who-is: I am so excited for the baby to be born!
RM: I’m glad you’re excited. [pause] What do you think it will it be like to share Mommy and Daddy with two other kids instead of just one?
C: ………
RM: Right now you only have to share us with M, but when BB is born there will be a whole new sibling who will have some of our attention too.
C: ………
R: [to me] They say denial is the first step!

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As for having a boy… I don’t know. I’ve read the book and talked to mothers of sons who talk about how the bond is so different. I have no reason to doubt them; I’m sure it’s true, but when I ask about it usually people can’t come up with anything very concrete. Oh, it’s just different. Recently ChaplainMom said, “The other day I was sitting and having the sweetest conversation with Little A and was thinking, ‘Oh I’m so excited for you, you’ll be doing this soon.’ And I thought, Um, I already do that!’ ”

So I’ve decided it’s just something you have to find out for yourself. I do think that having girls, I am always aware of how they are like me and not like me, and a boy will have more license just to be himself without any of my baggage. But I shouldn’t shoulder my girls with my baggage anyway. They should be free to be themselves too! So… you see?

Anyway, I don’t need to be convinced that it will be different. I’m just looking forward to seeing for myself.

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A friend of mine is being called to a big tall steeple church. Very big. I’m so happy for my friend; it’s just right. But I took a peek at the church website and checked out the photo tour of the sanctuary, chapel, gym, parlor, etc. etc. etc. And I thought, Wow, I do not feel the least bit called to this. No envy. No feeling left behind. That’s good, eh? Contentment.

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However, I have decided to start my maternity leave after Wednesday this week. My due date hasn’t changed (11/30), and while I certainly hope he’s not as late as the girls were, it’s time to go on leave. I have been more tired and uncomfortable than before, and I would rather go into labor and post-partum rested, even if it means “wasting” some of my leave before he’s even here. It will also give me a chance to finish up some projects and spend some time with the girls. I am excited.