Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

Without a doubt the biggest challenge was walking with the Tiny Church family through the illness and then death of their 8 year old son… with more challenges to come with their second son, who has the same disease but at this point is asymptomatic. (The minute that changes, they will be moving post haste to bone marrow transplant.)

I remember walking into the hospital room in Twin Cities. The boy had just been extubated following a surgery the day before and was gagging. Everyone was huddled around him, trying to get him comfortable. It was intense, and I took a deep breath, and “non-anxious presence” popped into my mind. It was hard though, seeing this boy I’d only ever seen in pictures and words written on a CaringBridge website, now in the flesh, his hair short and baby-fine from chemo, knowing that just a few months before, he was running in a track meet and receiving a citizenship award at school. Also, I knew the mother well, but mainly through e-mail, and I had never met the father. And here I was for two days.

There are lots of little challenges and calibrations in situations like this. When is the right time to suggest a prayer? What to say, when to say it? (I’m a big believer in non-anxious silences, but sometimes words are needed.) How long do I stay? When do they need to be alone? Just being attentive and present is tiring.

I say all this, knowing that my challenges didn’t hold a candle to theirs. And in a strange way, when he died, of course we were all devastated, but I wouldn’t call presiding at the service a challenge, necessarily. Probably because the tasks are clear at that point—plan the service, write a message that acknowledges the pain of the death, comforts the family and the offers hope for new life.

The challenge now is to pastor this congregation. They’ve been through a lot of grief—not just the little boy’s death, but several long-time members in recent years. Not to mention the retirement of their long-time pastor. It was sudden (in their minds) and sooner than they expected. The interim period has been fruitful, but long. So the call at this point is to tend to the sad, broken and weary places while also stepping out into the future in confidence and joy.